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Kids Party Etiquette
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Ever feel like you're out of the loop when it comes to the unspoken rules of kids party etiquette? Experienced Moms and Dads know the do's and don'ts of both hosting and attending kids parties. Here are some pearls of wisdom from these parent experts to those just starting out on the party circuit... |
~ Kids Party Etiquette for Parents ~
INVITATIONS
The rule of thumb passed down by experienced Moms and Dads is to invite the same number of
party guests as your child's age. Resist the temptation to invite every child in your child's
classroom. Be discrete and avoid hurt feelings by mailing invitations home instead of passing
them out in school. A manageable kids party is a more enjoyable one both for the party attendants
and for you!
PARTY TIME AND DURATION
An hour is sufficient for toddlers and pre-schoolers when naptimes are still an issue. Plan your kids
party when the birthday child will be freshest and best able to handle all the excitement, perhaps
a morning brunch is best.
For older school age children, a two to three hour party at any time of day is a safe bet; evening
parties and sleep-overs are popular kids party options for pre-teens.
RSVPs
Always include an RSVP date and phone number on your party invitations. In the event of a
guest failing to RSVP, a cordial call on or after your RSVP date is perfectly acceptable.
Sometimes mail is delayed and other mishaps occur, and you need to be sure that the invitation
was received. In addition, knowing the exact guest count is necessary for planning purposes.
~ Kids Party Etiquette for Parents ~
GIFT GAFFES
Children may sometimes express their true, and not necessarily polite, feelings about a gift they
have received. In advance of the party, explain to your child that it's necessary to thank all the
gift-givers with equal enthusiasm, no matter what the gift. Impress upon your him or her that
each guest feels their gift is special, and that it's the thought behind it that counts.
If you plan to open gifts at the party, make it early before kids are tired, cranky and hyped with
sugar. Of course, this issue can be avoided entirely by opening the gifts after guests have
departed, a time-saving practice which prevents the embarrassment of the party child making
ungrateful comments.
COMPETITIVE GAMES
There's nothing wrong with good old-fashioned competition; it gets the adrenalin going and
cranks up the excitement. Just make sure that the elements of each game are manageable for the
age group you are inviting. A trial run with the party child prior to the party will likely head off
any problems.
In addition, small gifts such as a lollipop or small trinket given to every player for completing the
game is preferable to awarding one large prize to the winner only. Planning a craft activity or
end-of-party reading time will involve all the guests, even the quieter ones.
SIBLINGS SHOWING UP UNINVITED
Be very clear on your party invitation by using the name of the guest invited. Some people will
ignore the obvious and do what's convenient for them anyway, so have a few extra goodie bags
on hand for siblings who just show up.
~ Kids Party Etiquette for Parents ~
BACK-UP PLANS
If you're having an outdoor party, it's good common sense to have a rainy day alternative.
Confirm your entertainer one week before party time, but prepare a handful of games you can
orchestrate on your own, if necessary. If a guest or two are late for the festivities, don't delay
your schedule but keep on as planned. Although no-shows, delays, and inclement weather are
party bummers, you can still pull it off like professional with a little advance preparation.
PARTY CHILD MISBEHAVING
Here's where some advance coaching is in order. Emphasize the important role your child has as
the party host or hostess to make guests feel comfortable. Discuss the responsibilities s/he will
have such as greeting the guests, showing them where to sit at the party table, and handing out
party favors.
Stress that through helping others enjoy the day, your child will likely have a better
time too. A gentle reminder during the party should be all that's needed once you've laid down
the ground rules.
GUESTS MISBEHAVING
The party excitement, coupled with sugar intake, can lead to tantrums, tears, and other
misbehavior. Step back a moment and try to handle these problems with patience and
diplomacy. A little attention and redirection is sometimes all that's needed to remedy the
situation.
Give the child a special job to do or make them an honorary party helper. If the
behavior escalates, don't be afraid to separate the child to a quiet room. Explain that bad
behavior will not be tolerated and that the parents will be called to take him or her home if it
continues.
~ Kids Party Etiquette for Parents ~
DUPLICATE GIFT DILEMMA
If there's a gift receipt attached from a thoughtful parent, you're golden. Otherwise, don't get
into it with another parent unless you can do so without causing offense. You can try just
returning the gift for store credit, if you know where it was purchased. Or, stash it away with the
name of the original gift-giver taped to it. This way you can recycle the gift, making sure it goes
to an entirely new (and hopefully appreciative) child.
THANK YOU NOTES
Thank you notes are an excellent way to promote good manners and appreciation in your
children. Not only are they important social skill builders, they foster good writing and creativity
as well. Kids will learn to enjoy writing thank you cards if you make it a fun project by using
colorful note cards and glittery gel pens or let them design their own on the computer.
For younger children, it's OK for the parent to write the note and have the party child sign it.
The party child could even draw a picture which Mom or Dad can copy and send as a thank you.
The "fill-in-the-blanks" type thank you note are a great alternative too. Another super idea is to
include a picture of the guest taken with the party child along with the thank you note.
Incidentally, it's critical to keep a careful list of who-gave-what so thank you notes can be sent
without mix-ups.
CAN PARENTS STAY?
If you're unsure if you can accompany your child to a party, just be up front with the parents
beforehand and ask what their party plans are. The RSVP call is a great time to ask questions.
Most parents of younger children know some kids are more comfortable with their parents
around and plan accordingly. (A pot of coffee and extra cake or munchies for the adults.) Most
parents will offer to help if they stay an extra bonus for the host/hostess!
Creating a Kids Theme Party is easier than you think if you plan ahead and follow a few simple guidelines.
Learn the potential pitfalls of party planning and how to handle them with ease in Ten Kids Party Planning No-Nos.
Stress Free Kid Birthday Parties can be a reality with the right attitude and these common sense strategies.
~ Kids Party Etiquette for Parents ~
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